im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
