Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
