I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
