Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am in a vortex of obligation.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
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I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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