yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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