omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
