My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
