we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
