I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
