Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
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$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
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