I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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