Only a mothe r could love this liver
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just invented taco cereal.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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