I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
