Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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