dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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