Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
