Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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