1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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