I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
