dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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