everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i dont even know how to be here
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
