@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
