This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
