I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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