Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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