then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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