I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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