Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
