Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
