yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
