and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
