I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
