Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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