I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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