Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
