Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
