i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The best revenge is premature balding
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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