if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
