Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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