I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
In America we eat man semen.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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