Me too!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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