her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
