she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
