ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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