I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize