Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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