I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
