it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
