I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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