He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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