Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
