thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
