the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
