Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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