At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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