and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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